Spontaneity
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2010
by Abe Blauvelt
As children, responsibility was rarely something we had to take seriously. Sure, any good parent would do their absolute best to ensure values such as responsibility were instilled in their children, but growing up many of us were allowed to be children. To play, to allow our minds to wander, to have fun when we desired.
As adults, responsibility is something which can no longer be ignored. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be purchased, we need to provide a roof over our heads and that of our loved ones. We all need to work, which sadly has become a necessary evil. Otherwise, how can we provide for all those nifty little toys, gadgets, and responsibilities which needed or simply desired?
There was a time I enjoyed planning my future. I wanted to make sure I had things in order, including those times I simply wanted to get away from it all and relax. Sadly, I've learned over the years that planning never works for me. Something invariably goes wrong, and instead of enjoying myself, I'm instead frustrated. So, the idea of planning much of anything has officially gone out the window as of a short while ago.
Wifey and I have discussed this many times. Both of us work hard, yet haven't had much time to truly enjoy our hard work. That has all changed. Yes, we'll still work hard, provide for us and the kids, and handle our responsibilities. It's who we are. However, some serious spontaneity is in order. It's time we took care of what's important, which is being us and enjoying each other, as well as all life has to offer us.
So you see, responsibility and spontaneity truly can co-exist. In fact, for us at least, it's a needed thing. Packing up, hopping in the car, and picking a direction with no plans in mind can be a wonderful adventure. Life doesn't need to be planned. While work isn't something most of us can avoid, there are times we all need to let go and enjoy what life has to offer, whatever that might be.
Are you ever spontaneous?
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More commentsNuff said, balance is a crucial thing in anything. Thanks for sharing Abe.Thank you for commenting.
Hi Abe.
My husband and I are spontaneous ... well we were ... maybe once. I seem to recall being spontaneous at least once. :)
Actually, some of the most fun and interesting experiences we've had have been the result of spontaneity. Of course, there have been some disasters too. One nice result was heading up State Route 89 with no destination in mind. We found some interesting side canyons (had a picnic lunch in one of them, yes we planned ahead on the lunch, can't forget the stomach) and eventually found ourselves heading west on Route 66. Along the way we found the Grand Canyon Caverns (no where near the Grand Canyon but they "breathe" through the GC) and found ourselves over 200 feet underground looking at cave formations. It was a great day. So, yes, I am all for spontaneity as long as lunch is taken care of. :)
I really enjoyed your article and the memories it brought back.
Hugs,
DianneOkay Dianne, I'll give you the food preparation part not always being spontaneous. Speaking as a man I get cranky when hungry. Sounds like you and your husband had a good time on that trip. Along the way you made a memory or two also. Now about that one time recollection. Care to share?Honestly, I'm not sure if I can remember it. I was challenged once, years and years ago now, with the question: "Don't you ever do anything spontaneous?" My answer then was yes, once, and I knew what it was then, but I've forgotten since. :) :) Sounds a bit sad, but the questioner was referring to big sorts of spontaneity like flying off to Maui on a moments notice. That would never be me. I like more tame things. Just the other weekend I asked Bernd out of the blue if he'd like to take a hike in the Granite Mountain Wilderness where I had been previously on horseback. We finished up our breakfasts, threw on some hiking clothes, put some food and water in a backpack and took off. We had a blast. It was beautiful. And about 12 miles later we were worn out but happy. To me that's the best kind of spontaneity. See my life really is just boring. :)That's not boring that's enjoying life as it comes. Would you really want to fly off to Maui at a moment's notice or have lunch in Paris? Little things like what you and Bernd did are the best way to be spontaneous in my book.
Random road trips... what a great thing to do at any point in life. I think sometimes we all need a little spontaneity, especially when we easily fall in the daily routines which, to me, get old real quick. Great article Abe!Doing anything by rote becomes boring. Shaking things up a little makes for happier people. Good to see you again.
I have my moments. One particular Valentines Day comes to mind. Lucky for me my husband is spontaneous as well. He gave me two days notice and we flew to an island for a week. Best holiday ever because I had nothing to do with the planning and it was spur of the moment. You and your wife are right to seize the moment when you can!Wow, you have a great husband. He must have taken the same training classes as moi. Now tell me, did you blush when you remembered the trip?
I'm glad to hear that you and your wife are spontaneous. Doing it an age while you can still enjoy it makes it even better. When I was younger I used to take off with my grandsons and go fishing all the time, it's some of my best memories. I don't go off like I used to but if my health allowed it I would. Miss my fishing.I'm sorry you don't get to fish anymore. At least you have those memories and did it while you could. How many people put it off altogether and never get memories?
I agree with you, when we were young we used to do just that. Put a pin blindly in the map of the UK, pack up and off we would go. Everything now depends on money. Can I pay my bills, do I need to take on extra work, have I time to do the ironing, what about the shopping? It seems life centres on cash. Such shame, spontaniety for me anyway is a thing of the past. . I have forgotten what that was.It is any wonder that we have the saying Money is the root of all evil? We work to have it and then don't have time to do anything else without spending more of it.
It's not possible to choose to be spontaneous. You will just take a busy, tortured mind along. "Where you go, there you are." Spontaneity is the result of a calm mind absent of thought finding itself in this very moment. That can never be accomplished by thinking.Okay, if you say so. That's not what it means in my book though.
"Life doesn't need to be planned." I really like your approach, Abe. In fact, I think life CANNOT be planned by any of us, though we pretend and try a lot to do just that. I'm learning to balance responsibility with spontaneity. Thanks for the push. ~mogama~Hey guy, thanks for commenting. It's not easy to balance so good luck.
Five and half years ago my husband and I decided to move to Florida. We had no jobs to transfer to. We had no home to move into. We had just built a 2 story colonial that we spent over a year designing and helping to pound the nails into the boards. We had three kids at home back then.We just decided we were cold. so we put the house on the market, got the eldest an apartment, sold the house, moved into a hotel, bought a house over the internet, quit jobs, packed the trailers, and then drove to Florida, went to a closing, and then we went to see the house we just purchased. We spent the next year playing - no jobs. Of course we put the two younger children in school but other than that we just played.Guess we were spontaneous.mwahWow that is spontaneous! I wish I had a prize to award you guys for that one. That took a lot of courage.Laughs - spontaneous - insane - inspired lots of term's one could have used back then. But has shifted our lives dramatically. We donate time to mow lawns for elderly, randomly take off and don't tell anyone (meaning the teenagers) where we are going or when we will be back, and rarely make plans. guess I never thought about it as living spontaneously.mwahI think in this case the word insane is a better fit, haha. You and your husband have a life only a few can ever attain. If I was a jealous person I would envy that.Tis simply a mindset Abe ... our mind set is live life on purpose.mwah
I hope I could be spontaneous again...since after married, I am spending most of my time for the family, children, housework, and of course work. Seems like no time for any unplanned thing. Everything has already planned in advance...and seems like everything has to be done according to schedule.How about you stop what you are doing and grab your spouse and give them a big hug and kiss and then go on with what you were doing? Or pick up a child, swing them around, tickle them and go back. Little things can be spontaneous too and a lot of fun.
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